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A Moment of Weakness (Chapter 8)

The hunt lasted for two more days. A few of the vampires had run away after the first night. The ones that stayed died because of their pride.

For those two days, Dean tried not to let what Missouri said on the first night get to him. He was unsuccessful because every free moment he had, he thought about it. And it made him nervous. He knew that Missouri could tell how awkward he was acting and he knew she was proud because she had caused it. He hoped that Castiel didn’t notice anything different.

By the time Dean and Castiel left, Missouri had tried everything to get the two of them to figure their feelings out. If it were any other two people, it would have worked, but Dean was too stubborn and Castiel was too dense.

She sent them on their way with a glare and a smirk. Sometimes it was nice to have psychic powers.

They were more than halfway back to Montana when Dean’s cell phone rang. Since Castiel didn’t want Dean to crash the car reaching into the back seat for his phone, Castiel grabbed it. Castiel answered it when he saw that it was Sam calling. He put the call on speakerphone.

“Sam, what’s up?” Dean asked.

“Where are you guys?

“We went for a drive. Hunt in Kansas.” He thought that Bobby would have filled him in on his whereabouts.

“Are you going to be home any time soon?”


“You should get home as soon as possible.”

Dean snatched the phone out of Castiel’s hand and took it off speakerphone. “Sam? What’s going on?” Sam sounded worried, and if he needed Dean, he’d speed all the way back to Montana.

“Um…” Sam started. He tried to find a way to say what he needed to say without Dean crashing the car. “Satan’s here.”

“Come again?” Dean asked, not because he didn’t hear him, but because if Sam repeated himself, then it would make what he said a little more believable. “What?”

“Yeah,” Sam answered, knowing Dean heard him correctly. “I can’t really believe it myself, but I’m staring at him right now.”

“What is he doing?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered. “Lucifer isn’t letting him regain consciousness.”

“What are you waiting for?” Dean asked. He suspected that they had him because he had information about Belial. He wondered why they wouldn’t try to get the information out of him as soon as possible.

“I think Lucifer’s waiting for you.”


“Dean, it’s okay if you want to keep Cas as far away from the house as possible for the next few hours. I’ll just let them know.”

“Why would—”

“The way the archangels are acting, I think he may have been one of the demons that tortured Cas.”

Dean was glad that he had taken the phone off of speakerphone. He did not want Castiel to have to hear that. But he couldn’t hide his reaction. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Sam replied, sympathetic. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll see what Cas wants to do.”

“Okay. There’s a hunt in North Dakota if you want it.”

Dean was thankful to have a brother who looked out for him while he was too busy looking out for other people. “I’ll let you know.” He hung up the phone and held it out to Castiel who took it. “Cas.”

Castiel held the phone in both of his hands and rested them on his lap. “Why does it matter what I want to do?”

“You heard that?” Dean winced at how stupid he sounded.

“I’m sitting right next to you. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

“It’s not eavesdropping if your opinion is needed,” Dean replied.

“So, are you going to tell me what the call was about?”

Dean pulled the car over. He gripped the steering wheel with both hands and rested his forehead on the top of it. He contemplated outright lying to Castiel, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lie to Castiel, even if it was to protect him. “Satan is at the house.”

Castiel swallowed. “Oh,” he whispered. He did not expect those words to come out of Dean’s mouth.

Dean sat back in his seat and looked at Castiel. He hated how unreadable is expression was. Damn the angel and his poker face. “Cas, if you don’t want to go back there and you want to just wait until—”

“We should go back,” Castiel answered.

“Cas, we don’t have to.”

“He was there, Dean,” Castiel whispered. “Don’t you think it would be best if I confronted him?”

“Do you think you’d be able to?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you want to find out,” Dean finished.

“You would want to.”

Dean wanted to protect Castiel and keep him away from anything that could hurt him again, but Castiel had him trapped. If he were in Castiel’s position, he would want to know if he was able to face his captor and torturer.

He started the car again, stepped on the pedal, and increased his speed enough that he would get back to Bobby’s sooner, but not get arrested at the same time.


They stepped into the house and saw Sam in the living room. Jody was in the kitchen, flipping through a new book that Michael had brought them.

“You’re here,” Sam said, surprised to see both of them back so soon. He sent his brother a look to ask him why.

“Well, Cas wanted to come back,” Dean replied. He wanted everyone to know that it was Castiel’s decision, and not his own. “So, where is everyone else?”

“Downstairs in the basement,” Sam answered by pointing with a nod. “I think Lucifer is having too much fun keeping Satan unconscious.”

“Okay, question. Why is Satan here? I thought we were trying to find Belial.”

Sam shrugged then turned to Castiel. “I don’t know. Cas, any ideas?”

Castiel turned to look at the door that led to the basement. “We should go downstairs,” he replied without answering Sam’s question.

Dean wanted to know if there was another reason besides Satan being there when Castiel was tortured. He wanted to know the reasoning why the angels needed to bring Satan to the cabin. Then again Dean felt like Castiel, along with the hunters, was often let out of the loop when it came to the angels. But at the moment, his thoughts and questions didn’t matter. “You sure? You don’t have to do this.” He could feel the anxiety radiating off of Castiel.

“I’ll be fine, Dean.” Castiel led the way with Dean and Sam following a few feet behind him.

It was far enough that they could have a conversation without Castiel hearing. “You sure this was the best idea, Dean?” Sam whispered.

“He wanted to come back,” Dean replied. Even though he didn’t agree with Castiel, he knew the angel needed answers or, at the least, closure. “If it goes south, I’ll get him out of there, even if I have to carry him.”

They made it to the basement and saw the angels, along with Bobby, waiting. Balthazar was the first angel to come to them. “Cassy, what are you doing here?”

“I heard that Lucifer brought Satan here.”

“Well, you saw him.” He stood between Castiel and Satan, trying to block his view. “Now why don’t you go upstairs while we—”

Castiel sighed and walked passed his brother. “I’ll be fine, Balthazar.”

Dean tried to follow Castiel, but Balthazar put a hand on his chest to stop him. “How could you bring him back here?” Balthazar hissed through gritted teeth.

Dean sighed because he honestly didn’t know the answer himself. The more he continued to be scolded about his decision, the more he regretted coming back to see this. “I don’t know,” Dean replied. He was tired of defending himself.

“I wanted to come back,” Castiel said. “You are doing this for me. I felt it would be important that I was here.” He hoped his response was enough to get everyone off of Dean’s case.

“We would have handled this without you,” Balthazar said.

“Leave him alone,” Lucifer said. “If Castiel wants to be here and confront his captor, let him.”

“You knew he was coming back, didn’t you,” Bobby spoke up. “That’s why you kept stalling.”

“And it was fun.”

“You need to learn new things to do for fun,” Gabriel said.

“Well, this seems like this will be something new.” Lucifer watched as Castiel stared at Satan lying unconscious in the Holy Ring. He could see the tension in the youngest angel’s shoulders. He snapped his fingers and Castiel appeared right next to him.

Castiel looked around, confused. “Lucifer?”

Lucifer stared at the angel and saw the tears sitting on the brim of his eyes. He reached up and put a hand between Castiel’s shoulder blades. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I know,” Castiel replied. He took in a few deep breaths to calm himself. He didn’t want to admit how safe he felt with Lucifer around, but he found himself relaxing.

When Lucifer felt Castiel’s change, he pushed the youngest angel to stand behind him. Then he looked at the other angels in the room. “Is everyone ready?”

“I don’t think it matters at this point,” Michael replied.

Lucifer shrugged. He was ready to get the show on the road. “Last chance to stop me,” he said, lifting up his hand. He looked around and saw no one protesting. He opened his fist then dropped his hand back down to his side.

Minutes later, the man trapped in the ring of fire or Key of Solomon stirred. He groaned as he opened his eyes. When he saw everyone standing outside of the trap, he scrambled to his feet. He spun in a circle then looked up. There was no way for him to get free. “Let me out of here.”

“Satan,” Lucifer greeted.

“Lucifer?” Satan replied, as if he didn’t believe the archangel was actually standing in front of him. “Lucifer.”

“You sound surprised to see me,” he said.

“I… I am.”

Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest. “By the way, thanks for the invite to this little shindig.”

“We were going to get you after we raised the other princes,” Satan replied.

“So, you lump me in with Mammon, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor?” Lucifer was offended. He was a Crowned Prince of Hell, and those other princes were nowhere near his power.

“As a precaution.”

Lucifer’s eyes darkened. “What kind of precaution?”

Satan took in a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. He knew whatever he was going to say would upset Lucifer. “Ever since the failed Apocalypse, everyone has been questioning if you’re actually as powerful as you say.”

“And because of that, you left me in my cage to rot?” Lucifer asked. His voice was louder, but he wasn’t yelling.

“It wasn’t my idea,” Satan said.

Satan’s denial made Lucifer angry. “Of course it was, Satan. I know how power hungry you are!” he yelled.

“I am your equal!”

“You are my lieutenant,” Lucifer growled. “You have no idea how to lead.”

Satan stalked as close to the edge of the fire as he could without burning himself. “I am closer to ending this planet than you ever were,” he growled back.

Lucifer dropped his arms and walked over to stand in front of Satan. He was inches away from the Holy Fire. “I’ll deal with your insubordination after I get the information I need,” he said through gritted teeth. He wanted to deal with Satan as soon as possible, but he didn’t find Satan for his own agenda.

“You may as well deal with it now.”

Michael moved to stand next to Satan. “Where is Belial?” he asked.

Satan’s eyes left Lucifer and moved to the eldest archangel. “I don’t know.”

Lucifer let out a short laugh. “You can lie to anyone else in all of creation, Satan, but you cannot lie to me.” With a twist of his wrist, he forced Satan to look at him. “So, I’ll ask you again. Where is Belial?”

Belial tried to fight out of Lucifer’s invisible hold, but he couldn’t get free. Even if he was out of the fire, he knew he wasn’t strong enough to go against his commander. “I don’t know,” Satan repeated. “I swear.”

“Belial is your opposite, Satan, I know you know where he is.” Lucifer closed his fist and twisted it. “Go ahead, Satan. Keep your thoughts clear.”

Belial fell to his knees with a yell. His hands went to his neck to fight off an invisible enemy. “I… haven’t seen him for weeks.”

Lucifer assumed that meant the last time they saw each other was when they were torturing Castiel. He unfurled his fist and Belial pitched forward onto his hands, gasping for breath. “Leave us,” Lucifer growled.

“Why?” Sam asked.

Lucifer turned around to smirk at his vessel. “Unless you want to see what a heart looks like when it’s still beating in a person’s chest, I suggest you step out for a couple of minutes. It won’t take long.”

“No,” Dean said. “How will we know that you and him won’t strike some kind of deal once we’re gone?”

“You’re smart to not trust me, Dean,” Lucifer said crossing his arms over his chest. “But I swear, I’m just getting information. All to help your angel.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest, showing that he wasn’t going to move. “Then I’ll stay and watch.” He bit his lip when he realized Lucifer called Castiel his, but he didn’t bother to correct him. He told himself it was because he was more concerned about dealing with Satan.

“Really,” Lucifer said, surprised. He raised an eyebrow.

Dean focused on the task at hand. “It happened to me enough times when I was in Hell. Shit, held the knife enough times, myself.”

“Very well.” Lucifer looked over his shoulder and to Castiel. “Just know that Castiel doesn’t have the stomach to watch.”

Dean’s attention went straight to Castiel. He could not believe that he forgot that he was in the basement with them. “Cas, maybe you should—”

Castiel shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” He needed to watch. He hoped that it would give him some satisfaction to see one of the angels that let the demons touch his grace in pain. And if it wasn’t satisfying, maybe it would help him move past that pain in his life.

“No, why don’t we go upstairs?” Dean said, ready to drag Castiel out of the basement. He didn’t want Castiel didn’t have to go through this.

“We’ll keep an eye on them,” Gabriel said. He knew it would make Dean more likely to take Castiel upstairs.

“Castiel?” A smile broke out across Satan’s face. “The angel that Leviathan gave to us? You look different now that your body is nearly in one piece.”

“You don’t get to talk to him that way,” Dean growled. He tried to walk forward, but was stopped when Sam grabbed his arm.

“Dean, take Cas upstairs,” Sam said.

“Do you crave the taste of Abbadon’s blood? How about Nybbas? Vetis?”

“Shut up,” Balthazar said, putting himself between the fallen angel and Castiel.

Satan smiled. He knew he had found a way to get under Castiel’s skin. He looked around the angels and saw the fear and panic in Castiel’s wide eyes. “You look so beautiful when you cry, youngest.”

“Dean, get Cas out of here, now!” Gabriel yelled. He grabbed Dean’s arm and pushed him to Castiel.

Dean stood in front of Castiel. He needed Castiel to look at him and not at Satan. He snapped his fingers in front of Castiel’s face and caused him to nearly jump out of skin. “Cas, you with me.” When Castiel nodded, he let Castiel lead the way up the stairs. “Let’s go.”

“He’ll never love you now, Castiel. Not with how unclean and impure you are. He doesn’t need you anymore.”

Dean almost turned back around and jumped into the ring of fire, but he stopped when he saw the horror on Castiel’s face. “Come on, Cas,” Dean whispered. His revenge could wait. He grabbed Castiel’s arm and felt him tense in his hold. He pulled him up the stairs.

He didn’t stop when they got to the first floor of the house. He continued to pull Castiel along, going up the second flight of stairs. He didn’t stop walking until they ended up in his room. He maneuvered Castiel around and sat him down on the edge of the bed.

Castiel’s hands shook. “Satan,” he whispered. “I couldn’t…”

Dean knelt down in front of Castiel and took the shaking hands in his own. “Hey, Cas,” he said. “Look at me,” Dean said. He let go of Castiel’s hands and grabbed him by his arms. “Snap out of it,” he said, shaking Castiel.

The shake was enough to jolt Castiel out of his trance. “Dean?” he whispered. He reached out and put his hand on Dean’s arm, touching the handprint. He needed something to ground him in reality. “Satan. He…”

“Lied,” Dean said, finishing the statement for him. “He lied. Everything he said was a lie, Cas.” He needed to make Castiel believe it or all the progress they made was for nothing.

“But I wasn’t… I wasn’t strong enough.”

“You were,” Dean said. “You are strong enough. And I still need you. Now snap out of it. Come on, Cas. You’re getting better.” He watched as Castiel let out a shuddering breath. “You with me?”

Castiel nodded. He squeezed Dean’s shoulder one more time before he dropped his hand. “Dean, my stomach is unsettled,” he said.

“Yeah. Okay,” Dean said. He looked around for something for Castiel to throw up into. When he found nothing, he ran into the bathroom and grabbed the small trashcan next to the toilet. He held it out to Castiel.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he took the trashcan from Dean’s hands. He fell to his knees and proceeded to throw up everything he had eaten that day.

Dean knelt down behind Castiel and rubbed his back as he threw up. He cringed at the sound of it. It felt worse when he could feel Castiel’s body stiffen under his hand. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he whispered when it sounded like Castiel was close to done.

Castiel spit in the trashcan and shut his eyes. He didn’t want to look into it. He pushed it away and shook his head. “It’s all right, Dean,” he replied.

“No,” Dean said. Because it wasn’t. “I should have pulled you out of there sooner. I wasn’t thinking.” He was only thinking about himself. And his need for revenge.

“It’s all right, Dean,” Castiel repeated, more adamant the second time. He stood up and took the trashcan with him. He poured the contents down the toilet and rinsed the can in the tub. He washed his mouth before he went back into the bedroom. He found Dean sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You should lie down,” Dean replied.

Castiel really didn’t want to, but he indulged Dean. He knew that Dean felt bad for not dragging him out of the basement earlier. He would let Dean take care of him to ease his guilt. He climbed into bed and lay on his back to stare up at the ceiling. “I’m fine, Dean,” Castiel replied.

“I know, Cas.’

“So, you shouldn’t feel guilty.”

Dean tried not to feel bad, but no matter how hard he tried to fool himself, he knew that if Castiel went back to square one, it would be because of his selfishness. He turned his body so he could look at Castiel. “Cas,” he whispered.

Castiel slowly turned his head to look at Dean. “Yes, Dean?”

“What did they want?”



“It would have been easier to persevere if I had something they wanted. They didn’t want anything. They didn’t want me to give you or Sam up. They didn’t want me to give them the secrets Heaven. They didn’t want to take me to Lucifer.”

“Well, what did they want?”

“To pass the time. To break an angel. They said they were testing out some techniques and hoping that it would work on more important and powerful angels.”


“They would have taken what they needed no matter what I did; no matter how hard I fought. I just thought that I would have been stronger especially after everything I’ve been through.”

Dean sighed loudly and ran his hand down his face. He knew exactly what was going through Castiel’s head. He had thought the same thing before. He was glad that he could be there for Castiel and help him sort through those thoughts. “Cas, there’s nothing in the universe you could have done to prepare yourself. You aren’t supposed to have to prepare for something like this.”

“I know. I just thought it would make me feel better.”

“It would do the opposite, Cas.” Dean knew. He thought of every way to try to justify how or why he broke in Hell.

Castiel closed his eyes and swallowed. “I don’t like being… unprepared.”

“No one does, Cas.”

“I don’t like being this unsure,” Castiel whispered.

Dean crawled into the empty side of the bed. He could feel the bed vibrating because of Castiel’s anxiousness. He reached over and grabbed Castiel’s shirt. Then he manhandled Castiel to lie down on his shoulder. He was relieved when Castiel didn’t fight him. “You okay?” he asked as he wrapped his arm around Castiel and pulled him into his side.

“I need you to give me a few minutes and we can head back downstairs.”

“You’re not going back down there,” Dean said.

“Dean,” Castiel sighed.

“Lucifer will take care of it.”

“Just give me a few minutes,” Castiel whispered.

“Yeah, sure thing,” Dean replied.

He rubbed small circles into back. He could feel Castiel relaxing under his ministrations, so he continued. Neither of them said a word to each other. Dean waited for a few minutes like Castiel had said, and when he looked over, Castiel had fallen asleep.


Castiel had been sleeping for a little more than half an hour when there was a knock on his door. “Yeah?” he said loudly, hoping that it wasn’t going to wake up the sleeping man.

The door opened and Bobby and Jody stepped into the room. “Hey,” Jody said, smiling when she saw Castiel tucked into Dean’s side.

“Jody? Bobby? What’s up?” he asked, sitting up a little straighter.

“We just wanted to make sure Cas was all right,” Bobby said. “How’s he doing?”

“He freaked out for a little bit, but I think he’s good now.”

“Good,” Jody said. In the few weeks she’d known Castiel, she had grown fond of him.

“Can you guys do me a favor and watch him for a couple?” Dean climbed out of bed without disturbing Castiel.

“Yeah, sure thing,” Jody replied.

“Awesome,” Dean said, and headed for the door. When he felt a hand on his shoulder as soon as he stepped into the hallway, he prepared himself for an earful.

“Boy, what are you planning?” he asked.

“I just wanted to make sure that we get what we need from Satan.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Bobby asked even though he knew the answer.

Dean bit his lip. He knew he didn’t really need to answer him. “Let me know if something happens.” Dean walked away as he heard Bobby mumble something about him being an idjit and a lot of expletives. He would have smiled if he didn’t have a mission to complete.

He walked downstairs slowly, getting himself in the mindset to prepare him for what he was about to do. He let out a deep breath as he took the first step into the basement.

His nose was assaulted with the smell of copper. Lucifer had started without him. Some part of him hoped there was something left for him to work with.

Everyone still in the basement looked up and watched as Dean descended the stairs.

“How is Castiel?” Lucifer asked. He drew with his pointer finger in the air little that ended up on Satan’s skin.

“He’s sleeping.”

“Why aren’t you with him?” Balthazar asked.

“I wasn’t tired,” Dean replied. He stared into the ring of fire at Satan. He was pissed. He walked over to the table where Bobby had laid out all the weapons they gathered and picked up the demon killing knife and an angel sword. “Is he an angel or demon?”

“Dean, don’t,” Gabriel said.

Dean walked to the edge of the ring of fire and looked down at it. “I can’t tell if it’s the Key, or the fire that’s trapping him,” Dean said, ignoring Gabriel’s warning. He looked up at the Key of Solomon drawn on the ceiling.

“Dean, you should be with Castiel. We have this under control,” Michael said. He would rather have not had Dean act out his need for vengeance when he didn’t need to. The four of them were strong enough to take on Satan.

They may have, but Dean had things he needed to do. “If you don’t tell me, fine. I’ll find out soon enough.”

“Michael, stop him,” Gabriel said.

“Let him go,” Lucifer said with a smirk.

Dean should have been concerned since Lucifer was agreeing with him, but he didn’t care. All he could see was an angel in front of him that hurt Castiel. “Fix him,” Dean hissed. He turned around and faced Lucifer.

“Why?” Balthazar asked.

“I want a new canvas.”

“Dean,” Sam said. He knew he couldn’t do or say anything to stop his brother, but he didn’t like how dark Dean’s demeanor had become in a few minutes.

Dean turned around and looked at Satan and saw that his muscles and ribs were still showing. “Lucifer, fix him.” Dean smiled when he heard the archangel snap his fingers. He watched as the wounds on Satan’s body closed. “Nice,” he said when Satan’s body was in prime condition.

“Do you need anything else?” Lucifer asked.

“Just incapacitate him, and we’ll be good.” Dean watched as Satan screamed as he was forced to his knees.

“Dean.” Sam grabbed his brother’s arm and spun him around.

“I’ve got it under control, Sam.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You’ll know the second I don’t,” he said, yanking his arm out of his brother’s grasp. He stepped into the ring of fire. “You’re powerless,” he said, kneeling in front of the figure curled on the floor.

“Not completely.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, you are. I have three archangels watching my back right now, so you won’t be able to pull anything. You might as well tell me what I want to know.”

“And make it easier for you?” Satan asked.

“I was taught by Alastair,” Dean said, holding the demon knife between them.

“And who do you think taught him?” Satan replied with a smirk. He reached up and ran his finger across the runes on the knife. “Do what you want, Dean. You won’t get any information out of me.”

Dean shrugged, and moved the knife away from Satan’s touch. “You never know. I could surprise you.”

Satan ignored what Dean said. “But I will tell you the sounds he made when Abbadon touched his grace for the first time.” He stared into Dean’s eyes, gauging his reactions. “How he was choking on his vessel’s blood. How he struggled to get away even though he wasn’t strong enough. How the light in those blue eyes of his dimmed just a little bit.”

“Shut up.” Dean whispered.

“I’m sure you figured it out, Dean. What it means for a demon being able to touch an angel’s grace? It’s quite degrading to an angel. And violating.”

Dean had enough of listening to what he let the demons do to Castiel. He grabbed the demon-killing knife and thrust it into Satan’s shoulder. He twisted it before pulling it out. “Huh,” he whispered. “So, you aren’t a demon.” He tossed the knife out of the circle. “At least we got that out of the way.” He grabbed the angel sword and smiled. “Let’s play,” Dean whispered.


“Dean,” Gabriel warned.

“Let him go, Gabriel,” Balthazar said.

“Cas won’t be happy when he finds out what he’s doing.”

Dean spun around and glared at the archangel. “Well, he’s not going to find out, is he?” he snarled.

The angels and Sam stepped back. All Dean needed was for his eyes to be black and they would have been easily convinced that a demon stood in front of them. “Dean,” Sam said.

Dean turned his attention to his brother. He let out a sigh. “If you don’t want to watch, Sam, leave.” He didn’t want his brother to see him tear a body apart.

“Dean!” Sam yelled.

“What?” he yelled back. He saw Sam not looking at him, but passed him. He spun around and saw Satan frozen in place. He looked like he was an inch away from attacking Dean.

“Don’t take your eyes off of him,” Lucifer replied. He had his hand up. He was the one holding Satan in place.

“I have you five watching my back. You wouldn’t let anything happen to me, would you, Mike?”

“Dean, that’s enough.”

“I don’t think so. Just getting started.”

“Damnit, Dean,” Sam shouted.

“Gabriel, Balthazar, make him leave so I don’t have to listen to him anymore.”

“He wouldn’t be complaining if you just stepped out of the circle,” Gabriel said.

“He has information about Belial.”

“That you’re not going to get,” Michael replied.

“I can try.” Then Dean spun around and stabbed Satan in his other shoulder with the angel sword. He smiled when his act surprised Satan and earned him a growl.

The torture continued for almost an hour. Lucifer had helped with providing sigils Dean could use to carve into the trapped angel. He also helped by keeping Satan bound. At the moment, he was laid out on the floor with Dean kneeling next to him. He carved some nonsense Enochian into Satan’s chest.

His attention was completely on the bleeding angel in front of him. He didn’t even notice when another person came into the basement.

“Dean, stop.”

Dean froze for a split second before he continued with what he was doing. “Leave me alone, Bobby,” he said as he kept carving sigils into Satan’s chest. He didn’t know what he was carving, but Lucifer showed him what to draw, so he did. It got a reaction out of Satan, and that’s all he wanted since he knew forty minutes ago he wasn’t going to get any answers out of him. Maybe the angels would be able to when he was done.

“Dean!” Bobby yelled.

“Busy,” Dean said. He was on a mission to carve the angel up. He needed to take his aggression out on someone who was in the room while Castiel was tortured all those months. All the other demons and angels were dead. He needed to take the opportunity while he had it. “Whatever it is can wait.”

“Cas needs you.”

“What?” Dean asked, stopping halfway through the last sigil.

“Cas needs you,” Bobby repeated.

Dean froze for a second. He replayed those three words and it was enough to knock himself back to reality. “Yeah,” Dean whispered. As if he was in a trance, he stood up and stepped over the flames to leave the circle. “Yeah, okay.” He dropped the angel sword as soon as he was free of the circle. He went straight to the stairs, not looking at anyone.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Bobby asked.

Dean had gone up the first few steps. He looked down at Bobby and glared at him. “You said Cas needed me.” He would have been pissed if Bobby lied to him just to get him to stop torturing.

“He doesn’t need to see you like this. Covered in demon blood.”

“He’s a fallen angel,” Dean hissed. Not that the designation mattered. All he knew was that someone or something hurt Castiel. And no one got away with hurting people he cared about.

“Boy, I don’t need you to be correcting—”


Michael snapped his fingers and all the blood on Dean vanished. “Go to him, we’ll finish here.”

“Are we good?” Dean asked Bobby, even though he didn’t care if it was enough for Bobby. If Castiel needed him, he’d be upstairs.

“Yeah, I guess.” He sighed and followed Dean up the stairs.

Once they got to the first story, Bobby sped up his walk so he could head up the stairs before Dean. He had to talk to Dean before the hunter saw Castiel. They got to the door of Dean’s room and Bobby stood in the way.

“Bobby, move,” Dean said.

“Not yet,” Bobby said. He crossed his arms over his chest. He knew Dean would never hurt him, so he could have stood there all day.

“What the hell, Bobby?” Dean yelled. “Let me in the room.”

“No,” Bobby said.

“Bobby,” Dean said. He would beg Bobby to let him in the room if he needed.

The door opened and Jody walked out. She closed the door behind her. “Cas knows what you’re doing,” she said softly. She didn’t want Castiel to hear what they were talking about.

“You told him?” Dean asked.

“No, idjit,” Bobby said. “He knows you better than anyone in the universe.”


“He knows that you needed to get some revenge on the angel that hurt him.”

“Bobby, it happened,” Dean said. “I can’t take it back.”

Jody put a hand on Dean’s arm and squeezed it. “Don’t get him worked up, Dean.”

“I’ll try not to.”

Jody nodded while Bobby glared at Dean before they headed down the stairs. Dean knew a threat when it was sent in his direction. He would try his damnedest not to cause Castiel any more stress. He was sure that Castiel would only get worked up to calm Dean down.

Dean grabbed the doorknob and sighed. He waited before he opened the door. He needed to thank the other angels for Castiel not having his powers because he could only imagine what Castiel would have done to him once he stepped into the room.

He opened the door and saw Castiel sitting on the bed, leaning against the headrest. “Cas?” he whispered, not wanting to startle him. Castiel turned his head to face him, and Dean was scared. Castiel looked a lot calmer than he thought he would.

“You were torturing,” Castiel replied. He wasn’t angry or scolding Dean. He was just stating.

“He has information,” Dean replied. He knew he sounded defensive, but he had no idea why. Castiel sounded like he understood.

Castiel swung his legs off the bed and stood up. He walked into Dean’s personal space. “Then let Lucifer torture him. Not you.” Castiel sighed. “You saw the person you became when you started torturing again in the future Zachariah sent you to.” He didn’t want Dean to become that man as much as Dean didn’t want to become him.

“I became that person when I lost Sam,” Dean answered. “And I thought I was going to become that person when I lost Lisa and Ben last year.”

“But you haven’t lost anyone,” Castiel replied.

Dean wanted to step out of the room. Leave it to Castiel to make that kind of connection with what he said. It gave Dean an opening, and for a second he didn’t know what he was going to do with it. “I thought I did,” he whispered.

“Dean, you can’t start torturing every time you think you lost someone.”

“I think I can,” Dean challenged. He was allowed to do whatever he want if someone he cared about was taken away from him. Even if it wasn’t the best thing for him to do.

“Dean, you aren’t supposed to become that person.” He saw that future in Dean’s dreams when he watched over him.

“And you were supposed to be with me until the end,” Dean said, a little louder than he intended.

“I’m still here,” Castiel said with a sigh. He came back, so he didn’t know why Dean was talking about him that way.

“But you weren’t,” Dean whispered. “You weren’t, Cas, and it almost…”

“Me?” Castiel asked with his eyes wide. He stepped back, putting himself out of Dean’s reach. “You were torturing because of me?” He could not believe what he had just heard. It didn’t make sense.

“I…” Dean thought about lying. “Yeah.”

“I never asked you to.”

“You’ve never asked for anything,” Dean said.

“I don’t want anything.”

“I mean,” Dean continued as if Castiel hadn’t said anything. “Except for me to back you up, but I didn’t do that.”

“Dean,” Castiel replied. He didn’t want to talk about that anymore. And if they needed to, they’d save it for another time.

“Damnit, Cas,” he whispered choking back a sob. His eyes began to water. All of the grief that he was pushing down was bubbling to the surface. He wasn’t prepared to try and stop them. “I thought you were gone. Like really gone and this time you weren’t coming back.”

“But I did.”

“I didn’t know that. All this fucking time…” His voice trailed off as every feeling concerning the man standing in front of him bubbled to the surface. The anger. The hate. The concern. The worry. The forgiveness. The restlessness. The sympathy. The love.

“Dean?” He reached out and put a hand on Dean’s arm. He wished that he had his powers because he would have been able to read Dean’s mind, even though he knew how much Dean would have hated it.

As soon as his name left Castiel’s lips, he grabbed Castiel by the front of his shirt, spun them around and pushed him up against the wall. Then he closed his eyes and crashed their lips together. The kiss was rough, desperate, messy. He took in every detail from Castiel’s hands holding his own, unsure of what was going on to Castiel’s dry lips which reminded Dean to give him something to drink to fix that.

He pushed himself further into Castiel’s space than he ever allowed Castiel into his own. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and his blood boiling and rushing through his body.

He kissed Castiel like it he would never kiss anyone again.

He thought about it. And it felt right. Then, just as quickly, he felt wrong. Because he wanted more, but he didn’t know if Castiel felt the same way.

He opened his eyes and pulled back. He saw Castiel’s eyes wide and staring at him. He watched as Castiel’s chest heaved in time with his own heavy breaths. He slowly opened his hands to let go of Castiel’s shirt and pulled them out of Castiel’s hold. “Shit,” he whispered, slapping a hand against the wall next to Castiel’s head. “Shit, shit, shit. Sorry, Cas,” Dean replied. He began to back-pedal.

“Dean,” Castiel said. His hand shot out and grabbed Dean’s arm before he got too far. “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Dean.” He knew Dean was lying. Dean Winchester didn’t do something that bold without a reason.

“I just… I needed to.”

Castiel brought a hand up to his face and rubbed his fingertips along his lips. “I see.”

“Damnit, Cas,” Dean huffed. The emotional Dean from a few minutes ago was fading. “Don’t make this weird and start overanalyzing it.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

Dean dragged his hands down his face and sighed. “Can… can we just…” his voice trailed off because there was so many ways he could finish the sentence. “I don’t know, go to sleep or something?”

“Sleep?” Castiel was surprised.


Castiel didn’t want to remind Dean that he had just woken up. It had to mean something that Dean didn’t want to just forget the kiss. And even if Dean asked him to forget, he didn’t think he’d be able to. “We can do that.”

“Good, I’m tuckered out.”

Dean immediately stripped off the outer layers of his clothes, leaving him in only a shirt and his boxers. He got into bed. He usually would have slept on the side closer to the door, but Castiel had basically claimed that half of the bed.

Castiel turned off the lights in the room before he climbed into bed. He rolled onto his side, facing his back to Dean. Usually, he slept facing the middle of the bed, but he felt it would be too intimate for Dean’s liking if he did; especially after what just happened. He let out a few deep breaths, finding it easy to fall back asleep even though he had just woke up.

As he was about to fade into his dreams, he felt an arm wrap around his waist and pull him back. He settled into the warmth of Dean’s body. He couldn’t stay awake much longer after that.

[Chapter 7] [Masterpost] [Chapter 9]


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 26th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
Well, that was an intense chapter with Cas facing Satan, Dean dealing out some hurt and then kissing Cas like that. Not that Cas seemed to object...

Feb. 28th, 2012 04:32 am (UTC)
I think that Cas needed the moment, even though it didn't go well. Castiel was surprised by the kiss. He feels like he knows Dean inside and out, and was still surprised by the human.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )