?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

A Moment of Weakness (Chapter 4)


For the first time in a long time, Dean dreamt of Hell. In the past, when he did, most of the time he was on the rack. Whenever the dream made him the torturer, it was always some nameless face and he never felt any remorse because they had to have done something bad to deserve Hell.

This time, his rack only had one person. And Dean could not understand why he was tearing him apart.

“Dean,” the man whispered, coughing up blood.

Dean stepped forward and ran his fingers through the man’s sweat-drenched hair. “It’s good to hear your vocal chords working again, Cas,” Dean said with a smile as the angel trembled under his fingertips. He grabbed his hair and pulled Castiel’s head back to expose his neck. Dean held the tip of his knife to Castiel’s Adam’s apple.

“Dean, I saved you from this fate. Please, you have to believe me.”

Dean rolled his eyes and let go of the angel’s hair. Without Dean to hold his head up, Castiel’s chin fell to his chest. “Now I remember why I cut your vocal chords in the first place. You talk too much, angel.”

Castiel’s body shook. “Dean, please, you have to believe me.”

Dean looked up at Castiel’s wrists that bound him to the platform behind him. “I believe what is in front of me. And what I see is an angel on my rack. You can’t do much saving from there.”

“Dean, please—” His pleas were cut off as Dean pulled out an angel sword and cut a line straight down the middle of his body.

“So quiet, angel. What happened?” Dean asked, nonchalant as he continued to drag the knife down Castiel’s torso.

The only reply Castiel could give him was his harsh breathing as he tried to take his mind off of the pain. He shut his eyes, trying to imagine he was anywhere else but the rack.

“Nuh uh, angel,” Dean said. “Don’t hide those beautiful blues from me.” Dean grabbed Castiel by the chin and forced him to look into his eyes. He tightened his grip when Castiel’s eyes shut tighter. “Come on, angel,” he coaxed.

Reluctantly, Castiel opened his eyes.

Dean smiled for two reasons. One, because he could see the pain the angel was feeling through them. And two, because the angel was following his orders. He never thought he’d get a being that strong to submit to him. “There we go,” he whispered with a smile on his face. He leaned forward and put his lips as close to Castiel’s ear without touching it. “My blue-eyed angel.”

“Dean, please.”

Dean reached up and grabbed the hair on the back of Castiel’s head. “Stop begging, angel.” He tried to stay frustrated, but he could see how scared the angel was. He bent forward and pressed his tongue into the wound he just made on Castiel’s chest. “Your blood is just as sweet as I imagined it would be.”

“Dean, this isn’t real.”

“If this isn’t real, why are you scared?”

“I saved you.”

Dean smiled a sadistic smile. He could indulge the angel’s whim for a second or two. They had all of eternity for their fun. “So, you pulled me from Hell when I was like this? You were too late.”

“Yes, but—”

“Then you should have left me down here!” Dean yelled. If Hell broke him, then he had no right to be back on Earth.

Castiel shook, pulling at his bonds. “I couldn’t,” he whispered.

“How could you let a monster on Earth, angel?”

“I didn’t.”

Dean let go of the angel and stepped back. He enjoyed taking the time to admire his artwork. This one was turning into one of his favorites. “Angels aren’t supposed to be able to lie.”

“I’m not. You’re not a monster, Dean.”

“I’m on my way.” He knew a few more years in the pit and his eyes would turn black.

“This isn’t real. This is a dream.”

“It seems real, angel. The blood. The heat. The pain.” He lifted up the sword covered in Enochian sigils. He twirled it in his palm once. Then again. “If this isn’t real, this shouldn’t hurt, should it?” He looked over Castiel’s shoulders and saw his wings bound with chains and ropes. He drove the sword straight into the largest muscle of the angel’s wings.

Castiel jerked, his entire body flaring up in pain. He had to close his eyes to concentrate and take in a few breaths. “Dean, stop,” he whispered when he felt some of the pain receding.

Dean twisted the sword, earning himself a whimper, then let go, leaving it embedded in the wing. He inhaled deeply. “The smell of you is intoxicating. I’ve never had anything like you on my rack before.” Dean stepped back and watched as Castiel fought against the pain flowing through his body. Dean reached up and traced his fingers around the stab wound. “This all seems real to me, angel,” he said as blood dripped onto his fingers.

“It’s not,” Castiel pleaded. “This is all in your mind.”

“If this is in my mind, and you saved me, why am I hurting you?” he asked, curious.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re the reason I’m like this.”

“I should have been faster.”

Dean shrugged. If the angel was going to take the blame, he wasn’t going to be the one to correct him. “It might have helped. But if this is a dream, what did you do to make me angry enough with you that I throw you on my rack?”

“Too many things to count.”

Dean never thought that he’d ever see such self-deprecation from an angel. He felt something warm in him, but he pushed the feeling down. “You mean a lot to me, angel. I hope you know that.” Dean’s eyes widened. He didn’t know why those words left his mouth.

“I did.”

“You do. So, tell me, angel. Why you?”

Castiel looked up to him, eyes wide and confused. “I don’t…”

“Why were you the one chosen to save me? I want to know.” He waited for a response. He watched as Castiel’s eyes drifted closed. Dean grabbed him by this chin. “Angel, hey, come on. I know the blood loss or grace loss or whatever is leaking out of you is getting to you, but you have to stick with me.” He could feel the angel going limp in his hand. He squeezed his chin. He didn’t want the game to end so soon. It wasn’t his intention to kill the angel. “Castiel!”

Castiel’s eyes shot open. “Yes?”

“You have to stick with me, okay?” He sounded strangely comforting.

Castiel nodded as much as he could with Dean’s hold on him. “Always.”

“What?” Dean asked, stepping back. He didn’t expect the angel to say something like that. He wondered how far the angel would let Dean push him.

“Dean, please. Let me go and we can both leave this place.”

“You’re on your own, angel.” No one helped him while he was in Hell, why should he have to be the one to help the angel when he should have been strong enough to get out on his own.

“I… I know,” he replied, sagging against his bonds.

Dean stared at Castiel. He never expected him to give in so easily. “So, who is going to save you?”

Castiel lifted his head up to look at his torturer. “It was supposed to be you.”

--------------

He woke to Sam shaking him by his ankle. He silently thanked his brother for that, not wanting to continue on with his dream. It bothered him. “What?” he groaned, making it up to his elbows.

“Your turn.” Ever since the angels brought Castiel there the second time, Jody, Bobby, Sam and Dean had been taking turns watching over him waiting for him to regain consciousness.

“Yeah, okay,” Dean replied, rubbing his eyes. Looking at his clock, he saw that he slept for less than three hours. His head plopped back onto the pillow. He had trouble falling asleep, and now, he was exhausted.

A selfish part of him hoped that Castiel wouldn’t regain consciousness any time soon so that he could take the chance to catch up on some sleep. Then he realized that he wanted Castiel awake more than he wanted to sleep.

“Dean,” Sam said. He took a moment to look his brother over. He looked horrible. He was ready to take his brother’s shift and give him a few more hours of sleep.

“I’m up,” Dean answered when he saw what his brother was thinking. He wasn’t going to get back to sleep any time soon. He didn’t want to see himself torturing Castiel again.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He grabbed his jeans that were laid out on the empty side of the bed. He slipped them on before sliding his feet into his boots. Then he followed his brother down the stairs.

He stepped into the room they put Castiel in and saw there was already a chair at Castiel’s bedside along with a cup of coffee and a sandwich. He made a note to thank Jody the next time he saw her. He was grateful that Jody had joined them at the cabin and she was able to take a shift, making their shifts shorter.

He sat down on the chair and reached for the sandwich. He ate through the food in less than ten minutes. When he realized how quickly he finished, he regretted not eating the food slower. This was going to be a long shift watching Castiel not move.

It took Dean one hour before he was working on autopilot with a book in one hand, a cup of some beverage in the other, and his attention constantly falling back to Castiel.

--------------

Dean felt a tap on his shoulder and was pulled out of his daze. He looked up and saw that it was Jody. “What’s up?” he mumbled.

“Shift change,” Jody replied. “I’m tapping you out.”

“What?” Dean asked. His brain was taking its time to get back to working condition. He hadn’t realized he had zoned out for so long.

“Go help Bobby and Sam with research. And get something to eat.”

“Yeah. Sure thing.” Dean stood up from his seat and stretched. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“You’re welcome. Now, scoot,” she said, trying to push Dean out the door.

He looked at Castiel who still hadn’t moved then walked out of the room.

He was glad to see a cup of coffee waiting for him along with an old book turned to a page with a sticky note on it. Nice to know that they weren’t wasting time or resources. He took a sip of his coffee then sat down and began reading.

Half an hour later, he was ready to refill his coffee when he heard Jody yelling from the other room.

“Dean!”

Dean, Bobby, and Sam looked at each other before they ran toward the guest room. They each brandished a weapon, ready for whatever they were going to find.

“What are you doing?” Jody hissed, standing up from the chair and putting herself between the angel and the hunters. “Put that away.”

Dean was the first to put his weapon away when he saw no threat in the room. “You don’t scream in a house full of hunters. What’s wrong?”

Jody stepped to the side to give them a full view of Castiel. Sam and Bobby immediately put down their weapons when they saw Castiel’s eyes open.

Castiel looked to the people standing near the entrance of the door. “Where am I?” he asked, his voice raspier than usual.

“You’re at Bobby’s,” Jody replied.

“I need to leave,” Castiel said, trying to sit up. He groaned when his entire body protested the movement.

Bobby rolled his eyes as he walked to Castiel’s bedside. “Lie down, wings. You’re hurt,” he pushed Castiel down with a hand on his chest. “You can’t be gallivanting off to wherever you think you’re needed.”

Castiel closed his eyes and ignored the elder hunter’s advice. He could leave if he wanted. He imagined a park in Hawaii. He waited to be transported there. When he opened his eyes, he saw he hadn’t moved locations at all. He turned his head to glare at the people in the room. “Why can’t I—”

“Your older brothers dimmed your mojo.”

Castiel’s eyes bulged and he looked like he was going to be sick. “Why would they do that?”

“Because you got attacked by Hellhounds.”

“I can’t be here.” Especially if he didn’t have his powers. “I need to leave. Michael? Gabriel?”

“They’re busy,” Bobby replied, although he was sure they’d show up if Castiel called them enough.

This time, Castiel sat up and no one stopped him. “Michael? Gabriel? Balthazar?” he tried to call out for any of them. He was ready to climb out of bed and draw sigils in his blood on the walls to summon one of them. Wings flapping interrupted him before his feet left the bed.

“What are you doing?” Balthazar sighed. He could see that Castiel was not ready to be on his feet.

“Why did you take away my grace?” Castiel yelled. His entire body shook. He needed his grace back. He felt ill without it.

“You’ll get it back when you learn to use it responsibly.”

“It’s not funny, Balthazar. I need it.” He was ready to beg to have his grace returned to him.

Balthazar crossed his arms over his chest. As much as he admired his brother, he wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. He was looking out for his well-being. “You need to fix whatever is wrong with you, first.”

“There isn’t anything wrong with me!” Castiel yelled.

Balthazar couldn’t look at Castiel so his eyes dropped to the floor. He could not watch his brother in such distress. “Of course not, Cassy. It’s just that you need to take some time off to heal. You’ve had a rough few months. You’ll get your grace in a few weeks.”

Castiel didn’t believe his brother. But he realized that no matter how much he begged he wasn’t getting his grace returned to him. “I… I need to be alone.”

“Cassy,” Balthazar pleaded. He could tell that Castiel was upset with him. He didn’t want his brother to close up.

Castiel put a hand up to stop his brother from speaking “I can’t fly away, so you don’t have to worry. I will call if I need you.”

Balthazar nodded though he was sure Castiel wouldn’t call, then disappeared. The humans all looked at each other and took after Balthazar’s lead. Sam, Bobby, and Jody walked out with Dean trailing behind.

Dean wanted to stay, but he knew Castiel needed some time to get use to not having his grace. He was going to say something, but Castiel closed the door and locked it. He’d give him some time alone. He wasn’t too worried about Castiel sneaking out the window because he was sure the angels were watching. And Castiel didn’t look like he could stay standing for very long.

He made himself comfortable on the couch. Now that Castiel was awake, all he had to do was wait until Castiel was ready to talk.

    --------    ------

Six days later, Dean found out angels were not very patient creatures. It was nine o’clock in the morning and the angels reappeared in the living room again. They were equal parts flustered and frustrated.

“He keeps banishing us.” Michael huffed and began pacing the length of the couch.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you,” Bobby replied. He thought they would have learned that by the third time it happened. Over twenty times later, the angels still tried to get into the room only to be forced out with a flash of light.

“It won’t last. Just give him space,” Dean added.

“He needs our help,” Balthazar said.

“Well, then you guys need to find a way around that tricky little banishing act.”

“Why don’t you do something, huh?” Gabriel asked, turning his frustration with the situation on Dean. “All you’ve done these last few days is sit on that couch and laugh at us.”

“It’s funny. I thought that you out of all people would appreciate how funny the irony of the situation was.”

Balthazar flew over to Dean and pushed the book out of his lap. “Why won’t you help him?” he yelled. “After everything he’s done for you?”

Dean stood up to be at eye level with Balthazar. “I want to, but he doesn’t want help yet.”

“Well, when will he?” Michael sighed. The longer Castiel went avoiding them, the more he felt like he was letting their Father down. This had to be a test. Or a punishment.

“You can’t make him talk about something he wants to forget.” Dean, out of all people, knew that.

“That won’t help him.”

“I know that,” Dean replied. “But keeping up all those defenses is exhausting.” He knew Castiel wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long especially since he wasn’t use to being human.

Sam and Bobby looked at Dean. They were surprised that he had said that. It wasn’t like Dean to talk about personal experiences like that. “Dean,” Sam asked.

“We should have taken away all of his grace when we he was healed,” Balthazar said. “That way he’d be sleeping and we’d have the chance to figure out what was wrong so we could help him.”

Dean hated that Balthazar was talking about Castiel’s grace as if it were a bad thing. He was about to say something to defend Castiel, but someone knocked on something in the house. Everyone immediately looked at Castiel’s door.

Jody stood in front of the door with a tray in her hands. She knocked on the door once more. “Castiel? It’s Jody Mills. I have some food for you. And something to drink.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Jody was not going to back down. She knew how to deal with children, or older people who acted like children. “Castiel, you have to eat something. I swear, it’s just me. I’ll bring your food and then I can leave. I promise.”

The entire house froze for the next few moments. Everyone was anxious to see how the scene was going to play out.

Then, as if time was slowly catching up to the moment, the door unlocked.

Jody reached for the doorknob and opened the door just enough for her to slip through. As soon as she stepped into the room, the door closed behind her. Then the door was locked.

“How did she do that?” Michael asked. He could not believe that she was able to gain passage into the room when he could not.

Dean did not have an answer for the archangel, but he wished he did.

--------------

Almost six hours later, the room door reopened. Jody stepped out holding the tray with an empty bowl and cup in her hands. She slowly closed the door behind her.

Michael walked up to her and took the tray from her. “How is he?” he asked.

She looked over to Dean and saw that he was watching her. “He needs your help,” she said.

“He isn’t letting us help him,” Sam replied, not realizing that she was talking to just Dean and not everyone else.

Jody wasn’t going to correct his mistake. “Well, how many people have you saved and helped even though they didn’t want it? Or not realizing how much they needed it?”

“Jody,” Bobby said. He needed to explain to her that in this life, the only time someone asked for help was when things got really bad. Castiel wasn’t there yet.

“No,” Jody said knowing what Bobby was trying to do. She may not have been in the hunting world long, but it didn’t mean she didn’t know how to care for another person. “He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. He’s scared. I think it’s the nightmares. You’ve heard his screams. I can’t even imagine what he could be dreaming about.”

Everyone else in the house was unable to look at Jody. They all heard the screams over the past few days. Sounds echoed in the house and everyone heard when Castiel would cry out or plead. He unconsciously accessed the bit of grace that he had every time because there were nights where the entire house shook as he dreamed.

“You don’t want to know,” Dean said. He didn’t know specifically what happened to Castiel, but with the way he screamed, it had to be bad. His time with the Leviathans was probably his version of Hell. “It’s just not good.”

“Well, they did something to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“The way he’s acting.”

“Jody,” Bobby started. “We know that the Leviathans tortured him.” They wondered what Jody saw that they didn’t.

“But they gave him something.”

“How do you know this?” Michael replied.

“I’ve seen a lot of kids that come in and out of the sheriff’s department. Needing their next hit.”

“Wait,” Dean said. “You’re saying they drugged him?” That meant that all this time, he’d been going through withdrawal, which would have added to the pain he was going through. He tried to think of what they could have used to drug an angel. Was it something they came up with themselves, or was it just a combination of all human drugs? His mind went to the future that Zachariah sent him to. He hoped, above all, that Castiel wasn’t addicted to pills.

“Is he going through withdrawal?” Sam asked.

“Nausea, sweating, muscles aches, and anxiety,” Jody replied. “I don’t think he had anything in him to throw up, but that might change in a few days. That boy has gone through so much already,” she whispered. “I can’t stand seeing him suffering. What are you guys going to do?” She glared at Dean knowing that it was up to him.

Dean could feel all the eyes in the house trained on him. “I’m not going to make him talk to me about it. I don’t do that.” He wasn’t good at it.

“Then how do you expect to help him?” Balthazar asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean replied. “Maybe I’ll take him somewhere so he can shoot out his rage or something.”

“Shoot something?” Gabriel repeated. “That’s how you plan on fixing this?”

“It’s a plan. There are many.” There weren’t. “I have a few more days before Cas actually lets me get close enough to help him.” At least, he hoped it was only a few days. “So, until then, let Jody keep doing this and eventually he’ll let us in.”

Dean grabbed his gun and headed toward the front door. He needed to shoot something.

--------------

This went on for almost two weeks. Jody was the only person Castiel let into the room. She would bring him food and sit with him while he slept. She was even the one in charge of removing Castiel’s stitches when the time came.

Dean wasn’t jealous of all the time she was spending with Castiel. Anyone who said he was earned a glare and a threat.

On most nights, Dean would stay downstairs until he couldn’t stay awake any longer. He wanted to be there and ready if something happened. Usually, the only sounds he heard were of Castiel shuffling around the room.

Today was a little different.

Earlier, Jody said that Castiel didn’t sleep while she was in the room with him. That had been the third day in a row that Castiel hadn’t taken a nap. That could not be good. The nightmares must have been affecting him.

Dean was tired of research. He rubbed his eyes then yawned as he stood up. He made his way to Castiel’s room. It was quieter than it had been the last few nights. He put is hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly, hoping that Castiel had miraculously forgotten to lock the door.

Of course, Castiel didn’t. He pulled his lock picks out and worked on the door. A few seconds later, the door was unlocked. “Cas? I’m coming in,” Dean said as he turned the doorknob. “If you throw something at me, I’m going to strangle you.” Dean was surprised that he was able to open the door without trouble. Usually by this point, Castiel would have yelled at him to get out. It was peculiar. Dean pushed the door open and looked around the room. “Cas?”

He turned on the light and saw how messy Castiel had let the room get. The bed wasn’t made. Books were on the floor, probably unmoved since Castiel tried to throw it at whoever made it through the door. The walls were covered with sigils.

He found Castiel sitting in the furthest corner of the room with a banishing sigil at his side. He saw that Castiel had recently cut his forearm open. Dean shook his head, disappointed. “Damnit.” If that wound wasn’t infected Dean would be surprised.

He knelt down beside Castiel and prepared to pick him up. As soon as Dean touched him, Castiel twitched. Dean backed off, scared that he did something wrong in touching him. “Cas?” he whispered. He was sure the angel was still asleep.

“Dean?” Castiel pleaded, tossing his head side to side. “Dean, help. Dean? Please?”

“Cas? Hey, what’s going on?” he asked as if he were taking to a child.

Castiel swallowed hard. “Dean. Please.”

“Cas, open your eyes, dude. You’re safe.” Dean hesitated for a moment before he put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and gently shook him. “Come on.”

Slowly, Castiel’s eyes opened. When he saw who was in front of him, his eyes widened. “Dean!” He tried to back away and began to panic when he found there was nowhere for him to go.

“Cas, calm down.” He let go of Castiel and sat back on his heels. He waited for Castiel to remember that he was out of whatever Hell he was in for months.

Castiel looked around the room, frantic and eyes wide. When he realized where he was, and who he was with, he calmed down. Or at least he tried to. He felt safer now that he was out of his nightmare. “How did you get in here?” His voice was soft.

“You know how I got in here, Cas,” Dean replied. He slid an arm under Castiel’s knees and the other behind his back. He picked Castiel up with a groan. He wasn’t as heavy as he thought he’d be, but he was still picking up another man.

“Leave me alone.”

“Nah.”

“Ass.”

Dean smiled, knowing exactly who taught Castiel to use language like that “You keep calling me names, maybe I should. But I’m not cruel. Your body will thank me in the morning.” He laid Castiel down on the bed. He took a seat on the edge of it. He grabbed the arm that Castiel had cut up and looked at it. “Cas, why won’t you let me in?”

Castiel looked up at Dean, his defenses still down. “The weight you carry on your shoulders is already heavy enough. It would be selfish of me to add more to it.”

Dean sighed. If Castiel were anything like him, then he would need a few seconds to get into the right mindset after waking. “Cas, you know I can’t understand you.”

“I know.” Castiel swallowed, trying to stop his throat from sounding as tired and rough as it did. “I feel like I’ve made your life more complicated than it needs to be.”

“Yeah,” Dean said with a laugh. “I agree.”

Castiel gently pulled his arm out of Dean’s grasp. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Cas.” He didn’t mean for Castiel to take what he said seriously. “Me and Sammy? Our lives weren’t exactly Full House material. As complicated as you’ve made it, you… you’ve helped us out too, you know.”

“Only to overshadow all the good I’ve done with one deed.”

Dean shook his head. He grabbed the blanket that had somehow ended up on the other side of the room and threw it over Castiel. “Cas, one bad thing isn’t going to erase everything else you’ve done.”

“But it did.”

“Damnit, Cas,” he said quite loudly. He needed Castiel to see that he wasn’t the only one to blame because of what was going on between them. “I’m human. I’m impulsive. I’m brash. I say a whole bunch of shit before thinking. I make mistakes, and I’m allowed to say when I do. And turning my back on you the way I did, that was a mistake.”

Castiel’s eyes widened at Dean’s outpouring. He wondered if he was still dreaming because that was not something Dean Winchester usually did. “Dean?”

“We’re not gonna fix what happened between us in one day.”

“I know.”

“It’ll take time. And work. But if we’re going to have these constant pity talks every day, then I say we just forgive and forget.” Some part of Dean hoped Castiel felt the same way. He could not handle having deep moments like this, and he would definitely not be able to handle having them every day.

“You know we can’t do that.”

“Yeah. Too much to ask,” Dean sighed. Nothing was ever easy in his life. He had no idea why he expected this to be. “Besides, it’s better that we’re talking.”

“Talking is good, right?”

“Yeah. It is.” It was a good start for them.

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed. “You look better.” Dean mentally chastised himself. He really didn’t know how to carry on small talk between them.

Luckily, Castiel wasn’t that well versed in the art of small talk either. “I feel better.”

“Cas.”

Castiel’s eyes slowly shut. “I feel like I’ve been dreaming. Ever since I got out of that room. Nothing feels real.” He opened his eyes and looked at Dean. He saw Dean’s hand a couple of inches away from his. He wanted to reach for it, but stopped. “This is real, right?”

“What?”

“Because if this is something created by the demons, this is the most elaborate fantasy yet.” He was almost impressed.

“Cas, what happened to you?”

Castiel tried to roll over, wanting to get away from the conversation the only way he knew how. “Dean, I don’t—”

Dean grabbed Castiel’s shoulder and gently rolled him onto his back. “No, you need to tell me. Because the last time you didn’t, you almost got torn apart by some Hellhounds.” He stared into Castiel’s eyes, hoping that he would finally open up. “Please. I want to help you.”

“Not today, Dean. Please,” he begged.

“Fine.” Dean could never take those damn pleading eyes. Even when they were fighting, Dean had to fight against everything in him to say no. “Not today. But you’re telling me eventually.”

“Yes, of course,” Castiel agreed.

Dean could swear that he saw some of Castiel’s walls come down. “Cas, I mean it. You can’t fly away if you don’t want to talk about it. You’re stuck here.”

Castiel looked away from Dean, his chest hurting at the thought of being grounded. “I know.”

“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but we’re going to fix this. All of this.” Castiel nodded then turned onto his side to face his back to Dean. “Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” he asked, but didn’t move to face the other man.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Dean listened as Castiel let out a sigh.

“Thank you.”

Dean knew the conversation was over. He stayed sitting on the edge of the bed until Castiel fell asleep. He waited until he watched Castiel’s breathing even out. Ten minutes after Dean was sure he was asleep and nightmare free, he stood up, and was ready to leave Castiel alone.

But first, he needed to clean up Castiel’s arm. If he was more angel than human, Dean didn’t want him to get sick because of an infection. He grabbed the first aid kit under the bed then cleaned and wrapped the cuts. He finished in less than ten minutes. He tucked Castiel’s arm under the blanket and put the kit back under the bed.

Dean felt better because of their talk. He wanted to step out and let the angel sleep. Then he thought about what would happen if he left the room. He suspected that Castiel would probably lock the door behind him and never let anyone else in. He couldn’t let that happen. He’d sleep in the room.

Dean stared at the bed and saw that there was enough space for him to lie down on it, but he thought about how Castiel would react to finding someone else in bed with him. Dean didn’t want to traumatize him.

He settled for sleeping on the floor. That way, he’d know when Castiel woke up and started walking around the room. He shrugged off his jacket and over shirt and rolled it up to use as a pillow. He set it on the floor then lay down. He fell asleep, glad that things were on their way to being mended between him and Castiel.

[Chapter 3]   [Masterpost]   [Chapter 5]

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
laura_trekkie
Feb. 25th, 2012 10:38 am (UTC)
Dean's nightmare was upsetting. I wish I could be certain that it was just an imaginary Cas,but with the angel's penchant for visiting Dean's dreams and his need, even now, to protect Dean, coupled with the fact that I don't know what Cas' nightmares consist of... :(

But at least they've had a talk. They may not have said much yet, but it was a start, a lowering of the barriers which will, hopefully, make the next talk a little easier and a little more helpful.

Laura.
dauntperplexity
Feb. 28th, 2012 04:28 am (UTC)
I didn't know how intense to make the dream. I felt like since Dean was having nightmares in the show, he'd have dreams about Castiel's return.

They're getting to the point where they'll open up. They both need to heal and they'll do it together.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )